You’ve heard from Krissy and Lindsey of ToConceive, now it’s time to get the perspective of infertility from a male, ToConceive’s own Josh Thompson….
I have struggled over the past few months in coming up with ideas for articles/blog posts relating to infertility from the male’s perspective. I have bounced around ideas such as fitness, nutrition, and the holy grail of male fertility topics, boxer’s vs tighty whiteys. However, none of those ideas spoke to me and writers block hit me like a ton of bricks. Then when I least expected it, as I sat on the beach next to my new bride (on our honeymoon), the idea hit me. At this moment I realized that I was now entering into whole new phase of my life, leaving the single life, and entering the world of marriage.
Naturally, my wife and I have always discussed our ideal family design; 2 kids, a boy and a girl (I must say, seeing my beautiful nieces grow up, I wouldn’t be sad if I had two girls), two or three years apart, happy and healthy. What more could a newly married couple ask for? For the longest time this conversation was nothing more than just that, a conversation. But now that we are married, it has become our everyday reality. We must decide when is the right time, is our house, and bank account ready for us to bring in another mouth, am I ready to be a father? (Just typing that sentence is sure to make my mom, sisters, wife, and likely my dad cry when they read it.)
However, what if our dream family doesn’t come as easily as it does in our conversations? What if God’s will is for us to not have a family or for us to deal with the struggles of infertility? While I have been researching infertility for the past year or more, hoping to spread the word to couples who are facing the reality of infertility, it has never occurred to me that I too one day may have to fight the same battle. Will my wife and I be mentally prepared? Will we have the faith to remain strong? I like to think that the answer is yes. But the answer to that lies within my relationship with God and my wife. I do know that the beautiful woman that I now get to call my wife (not to toot my own horn, but I totally hit the jackpot) and I would stand firm in our faith and rely on our love. It is amazing to know that regardless of what we may go through in life, we will have each other. Infertility may be a difficult topic, especially for us men, but is should never cause fear. I don’t know if these thoughts are normal (though I know I am outside of the standard of what is normal to begin with) for a man, but I like to think they are, it just might be hidden under our layers of emotional barriers. If this short blog does anything, I hope it shows men that this is not a topic that you should hide under, but rather speak to it. Family, love, and faith are a part of our lives every day and there will never be a good enough reason to hide from it.
One final story as I open this dialog around male infertility. During our rehearsal dinner my father and mother spoke to us about family and what to expect in the coming years. The one thing that stood out to me more than anything was them describing how before I ever met my wife, they were praying for her. They prayed for my brother’s wife and sister’s husband that we all would meet the perfect spouse, and find the love that they did, they did so before we were ever born. And now, we too are praying.